POST ONE

I haven't posted in a year, why start now? I'm not really sure. 

I guess when I think of bloggers, I think of middle aged moms posting cute pictures of their children, & then posing in some cute outfits they come up with everyday. As well as living day to day and finding joy in the mundane. Which that way of blogging is amazing don't get me wrong, I love those blogs and aspire to be one of those ladies one day (maybe).

I guess what I want, is for me to be able to share. Share my real thoughts, photos, mistakes, and also good things, not really an advice column or how to live - because frankly I haven't figured that part out yet. I just want to be able to have an outlet to do it - that's why I am starting this thing up again. Because if I want to be a writer like I say I do, I actually have to write. 

What will I write about right now though? Well to start things out, my life in a nutshell, is chaotic. With school, friends, family, YoungLife, pictures, and Donald Trump being president - I guess you could say my life is filled with anxiousness and unknowns.

One thing I could bring up right now is that I found out today that Financial Aid isn't giving me any free money for school this year, and therefore I have to pay money out of pocket for it. I applied for a loan today & then also let my dad loan me money for my first payment in a payment plan. I hate being in debt with people, especially when it comes to money and my spending habits. 

I mean I can't lie, I really do go to Taco Bell a few times a week, I love to buy a good CD every so often, and then somehow that adds up to where I can't pay for college when I need to. 

(5 minute break)

Sorry I had to look up how to take off gel nails because frankly I don't have enough money to get my nails done this week - which I guess is also an expense that I don't need.

Guys, my life expenses are so dumb. 

THIS IS WHY I CAN'T PAY FOR MY COLLEGE TUITION: because I, Alayna Shock, get my nails done every two weeks.

I started initially because I wanted to treat myself. I think getting your nails done is for sure a finer thing in life, but it seemed like a good thing because I was so stressed about my life and money, which now doesn't really make sense. 

(This is actually why I should write: to see how dumb my life sounds when I write it out. LOL.) 

Ok, so I decide to get my nails done right? It started out really awesome but I now realize that maybe the only people that should treat themselves are people that don't treat themselves very often. I am coming to realize in the past 20 minutes that I, in fact, live a life of treating myself. 

Like, I should treat myself if I don't already go to Starbucks whenever I want, or like, have 4 kids. But I am a single 20 year old girl who does what she wants when she wants and therefore should not have to get her nails done every two weeks.

Thank you, blog, for making me realize this fun fact after I have spent $120 since November. 

I am really moving on up in the world people.

So I already know why I can't pay for college, & I also know that writing for me is therapeutic. 

I shall continue next Friday to see why I am tired all of the time - probably because I just stay up till 3 watching Netflix, but the jury is still out.

Alayna